Due to the closure of so many of our usual favorite summer places and activities, we've stayed home quite a bit this summer. There are no story times at the library or visits to the zoo. But we've had a lot of time outside and at home, and we've had a lot of fun. So here's what we loved:
1. Little Tikes First Slide 2. Kiddie Pool 3. Water Beads (Throw these in a kiddie pool, water table, or sensory bin. They are great for sorting as well as playing.) 4. Cozy Coupe These are great for racing, playing gas station, and running pretend errands. We've even brought them inside and set up a drive in theater for the kids. 5. Disney+ Seriously don't feel bad about screen time during this survival period. Use it as a tool. During rainy days, my kids have loved a good ole movie day. We've made forts, had snacks instead of lunch, and watched movies we hadn't seen before. My kids have actually ASKED to have a lazy day the last few months. 6. Tent My mom bought my daughter this tent for her first birthday. It's over a year and a half old and in great shape, and my kids use it probably once a week. I love that we can fold it up and zip it in the bag for easy storage. Throw a pack of ball pit balls in there and it's even more fun! 7. Color Wonder Books Color Wonder coloring books are one of my favorite products! We get new ones every few months or every holiday because we go through them so often. I have one child who absolutely loves coloring on walls, furniture, and herself so these are the perfect activity to occupy her so I can get things done without having to hawk eye her. 8. Echo Dot Honestly, I was skeptical when I first considered buying an Echo Dot. We turned off voice purchasing right away because my children LOVE trying to buy things already on their tablets or my phone. I have to say I really do enjoy having the Dot in my house. Not only is it great for a quick voice timer, but we love using it to have a dance party. The kids will ask Alexa questions like "What does a giraffe say?" and she'll answer them. It provides tons of entertainment and is semi-educational depending on their questions. 9. Crayola Finger Paint This paint is my favorite for painting paper and projects that will stay indoors. We've painted decorative bird houses, crafts, etc. It is washable so it's great for messy little kids.
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As a full time stay at home mom to two young children right now, this school closure is not a huge deal for us personally because my kids would be home anyways. I know that's not the case for a lot of people who are scrambling not only to find childcare, but to figure out how to entertain their kiddos for the time being when our outside options are limited. Though we usually do day trips or small outings at least a few times a week, it looks like many of those things will be off the table for the time being. It's been nearly four years since my oldest was born, and I've been a stay at home mom so I've learned how to survive the chaos.
First off, lower your expectations. In fact follow Elsa's lead and just LET IT GO. Things aren't going to go smoothly. There are all kinds of disruptions and changes. This is a time for survival mode, and by that I simply mean getting through it without screaming our heads off at our kids and losing our minds. What's best for each family or even each kid isn't going to the same. Now I'm going to totally contradict myself and say that all kids really thrive with structure. Create a schedule, even just a loose schedule, and try to stick to it each day. This will provide a sense of normalcy in this wild time. Read. Bake with the kids. Frost cookies. Decorate cupcakes. Play in the bath. Bring cups in the tub and practice pouring. Let them hang out until the water gets colder. It breaks up the day, gets rid of germs, and provides some fun. Check out @busytoddler on Instagram because she has the BEST activities for kiddos! That page has saved my sanity on multiple occasions. There are so many easy activities that don't require a trip to the store even usually that will keep kids entertained. Bouncing off that, my kids absolutely love to play in sensory bins. We have one full of dry pasta and another full of rice and beans. They use measuring cups, scoopers, and left over Easter eggs. Cut and glue activities. Cut Easter eggs and glue them in a basket. We love cutting paper hearts and glueing them. As a learning bonus, I'll put letters on whatever shape is being glued down and have them spell their names. Color. Print pages to color in. Grab a $5 large coloring book that can be laid on the floor and color. Find new crayons. We grabbed some metallic and neon crayons today. Watch movies. For as much as we like to diss screen time, it can be a great asset. DisneyPlus put Frozen 2 up March 14th. Build a fort. Everyone loves a good blanket fort. Use extra cardboard boxes to make a fort. Be unconventional and just let the kids color cardboard boxes and sit in them. Simple, free fun! Dig out the blocks and build. Play Jenga Paint Play-dough Do chores. Make chores part of the routine. Little kids can do easy chores such as helping sort laundry (learn colors) and unload the dishwasher. Breathe. Being a mom is hard. We feel lonely and isolated sometimes, like we are the only ones fighting battles with head-strong toddlers and soothing cranky babies. We aren't.
It's draining and downright frustrating when it feels like my kids are the only ones who don't listen in public. How are those children following their mom like little ducklings, yet my children take off running in opposite directions in the time it takes me to unlock my vehicle? It feels like I'm the only one who has these issues, but I'm not. The other day I was walking with my youngest to go get my oldest. My youngest turned on her heel and ran giggling in the opposite direction. When I tried counting to three, she counted with me, unbudging from her rebellious mission. It was frustrating. I took my deep breath, counted to three under my breath for myself, and calmly picked up my littlest and that was that. She didn't protest, and she actually gave me a hug. As we proceeded on our way, there was another toddler giving his mom the same trouble. I had to chuckle at in a bit because it's not just me. She was handling it very calmly. I flashed her a knowing smile and reassured her, "We just had the same battle." What I saw when she looked back at me was solidarity. I wanted to shout, "You got this, Mama!" but that felt like a little too much. Here's the thing: we aren't alone. Toddlers are heart-meltingly sweet, incredibly curious, and darn hard-headed. It's easier, more acceptable to talk about the good stuff. But we need to talk about the hard parts too. A toddler testing the limits isn't some endangered species. We aren't the only ones encountering this. Be an ally! Show some solidarity! We are all in this together moms! I was headed out the door to the grocery store for a few ingredients for a last minute chili party I decided to host from my parents and siblings. I threw on my shoe only to trip and fall directly into my kids' open sensory bin of dry pasta. URGGGH! The kids were upstairs with my husband so I couldn't exactly blame them. I should have put the lid on the bin when I herded them all upstairs for bath time this morning. I should have been paying more attention to what I was doing. I should have just slowed down because there was no real reason to rush to Walmart at 10 a.m. on a Sunday morning anyways. But I'm imperfect and a little bit of a hot head. I was all queued up to holler about how no one else cleans up but me. I was all ready to vacuum up the noodles and be done with the bin for good. But I didn't. There's something oddly humbling about picking up nearly four pounds of dry pasta on my hands and knees on the kitchen floor by myself that calmed my heart and my temper. I knew it wasn't anyone's fault. It surely wasn't the end of the world. The pasta is back in its bin. (I even crazily bought them another box today at the store because it brings them so much joy!) No one was hurt in my noodle spill. It gave me a good chuckle and a needed reminder to slow down. As I put handfuls of elbow noodles and bowties back in the bin, I thought of all the hours my kids have spent in this beloved and so simple bin. The feel of dry pasta between my fingers was oddly calming. I heard little footsteps on the stairs before I was even a quarter of the way done cleaning. I was ready to yell "Stay clear. Don't come out here." But my three year old wandered up and asked if he could help. Of course, I said "yes." He got out his favorite diggers and utensils to help clean my pasta mess! Pretty soon my husband and our one year old were all down on the floor cleaning up the noodles. Honestly, it was pretty fun. It was like one big family sensory bin!
Such a simple spill brought so much joy to me this morning because I was in the moment, down on the floor, and spending quality time with my kids. I was enjoying their observations, wacky ideas, and questionable cleaning methods. Dear God, Remind me to get down more often on the floor and play with my kids. They won't be this little for long. I don't want to miss a moment. I know I get caught up in the day to day chores and hustle. I forget to enjoy my kids' littleness and curiosity. I forget to be present with them. Give me the wisdom to know what's important and what can wait. Amen. Balance is important, but it's near impossible to achieve. Balancing the amount of time I spend with my two children individually, then balancing that with the quality time I spend with my husband. If I'm feeling really crazy, maybe I would try to balance that with the time I should spend for myself. Y-I-K-E-S. Just talking about all of that balancing seems difficult, I can't even imagine perfecting it in real life. I know I haven't yet. I can feel it almost daily. There's the mom guilt from spending more time with my one year old still nursing daughter than my rather independent three year old. He doesn't physically cling to me like she does so by default we spend less time together. After spending all two with two tots, my husband probably feels like he comes home to a touched-out mute. I'll admit sometimes I'm snappy. I don't want to be asked questions or make decisions because I've been doing it all day for three people. I just need a little silence and a little space. I pray he doesn't take it personally because it's not. When it comes to myself, I know there's no balance. I'm a mom and by default I put my family first all of the time. I don't mean to place myself last in a neglectful way. It's just a hazard of the job. I should spend 30 minutes in the bath, but when I go up to grab a towel I see a load of laundry that I should throw in so I do that. After that's done, I pass through the kitchen and see that there are dishes in the sink. It's a pet peeve of mine so for my own sanity, I do them. I won't have to see them later. (I probably will end up seeing new dishes there because I live with two toddlers. There are a whole lot of snacks and a whole lot of sippy cups used all of the time.) One distraction or chore follows another and before I know it that thirty minutes I planned to spend in the bath tub has passed. Of course it's not physically scheduled and I could just take a bath now, but I won't. I'll brush it off and opt to shower before the kids go to bed. Before I know it, I'm struggling to get the ever sleep resistant one year old down to bed. I'm exhausted, drained, and frustrated. There's no balance. There wasn't even a genuine attempt, was there? I am a better mom when I take care of me. Whether I spend 5 minutes reading my Bible in the morning or 30 minutes in the bath with a good book at night. Maybe I'll watch a favorite show during my kids' nap time. The point is I'm doing something just me and for me because I'm not just my kids' mom. I'm a person who needs to take care of my family, my house, and yes MYSELF.
I'll probably never achieve a perfect balance no matter how great or how awful my organization is. I can schedule minutes or hours for myself, but will they actually happen all the time? Not a chance. Life happens. Kids happen. I refuse to count the minutes of quality time I spend with each of my children to make sure it's exactly the same. That's just ridiculous. I am trying to beat myself up less. It's a work in progress, heck so am I! One day, maybe, right? No matter how much effort we put into one area, we're probably always going to feel like we're slacking somewhere else. And why? We're all just doing the best we can. In writing this blog, I promised to be authentic and genuine with you all. That's not always easy especially when I'm not exactly happy or happy with myself. Here's the thing, I will never coin myself as a "perfect mother" because I'm not. My kids drive me absolutely freaking bonkers on a regular basis, but I love them with all of my heart and soul. Still though, there are times when I think that they deserve better.
What kind of mother gets frustrated with her own baby? I ask myself that on a regular basis because I get frustrated with my exclusively breastfed daughter who hasn't slept through the night in her nearly 15 months (yeah, over a year) and who wants to be held BY ME all of the time. I find myself justifying my frustrations because I'm not proud of it, but shouldn't I still be entitled to my own emotions? My husband is right here doing this parenting thing with me, but I still find myself feeling like we are worlds apart. He just doesn't seem to understand the difficulties I have that he doesn't. Maybe it's because he isn't here all day long with us or maybe it's because he sleeps. Maybe it's because he doesn't have boobs. I don't know. But for some reason, I am the one feeling completely touched out by 11 a.m. No matter how much I try to explain it, he just doesn't seem to understand or empathize or relate. I just need a minute of solace. Some peace and quiet. Enough time to take a deep breath. A time to shake it off without anyone touching me. Is that so much to ask? I feel like a bad mom, as if I'm selfish for asking for and wanting these things. Shouldn't I be thrilled that my daughter just wants me? That my kids love me? That we get to spend all of our time together? Don't get me wrong, I am happy. But I am also overwhelmed. I am also ready to crawl out of my skin at times because I just need a minute without holding a baby or having someone underfoot or grabbing my legs. The mom guilt eats at me for not being the mom with a smile plastered on my face, eating up every minute of my kids' childhoods. That's the mom I thought I would be. In fact before my daughter was born, I was pretty good at it. She is such a different baby than my son was though, and things have been hard on me. Part of me thinks that this is normal. This is motherhood. I am not alone in these feelings. Are you a mom who feels the same way? I'd love to know. Motherhood can be hard, challenging, and make me feel rather ugly. But it's real. Every ounce of frustration, impatience, worry, and guilt is the real deal. I am a mom. I am also a wife. I am a woman, a human being. I have so much of myself tied up in being the best possible mom to my children. Sometimes I just need to take care of me, as a person. I am a better mom when I am not running on fumes. Aren't we all? No matter how frustrated, overwhelmed, and touched-out I am, I love my children with every fiber of my being. This love is unconditional. I won't be the perfect mother. I won't always be happy and smiley. Honestly, who is? That's just not authentic. It's not how life works or who I am. That's okay though. I will always love my little ones. I will love them when I'm upset or when they're upset. At 7:30 P.M. I decided I was clocking out. I had rocked babies, nursed, made three meals, packed tomorrow's picnic, fought toddlers into clothing, brushed three people's teeth, wrestled kids into car seats, picked up the same mess too many times, loaded and unloaded the dishwasher, and vacuumed a handful of times.
I remember being a child and thinking about how slowly time moved. It took what felt like a decade for just one school year (180 days) to pass. Now as an adult, the months seem to fly by in a revolving cycle of bill paying. The days seem to drag and fly by simultaneously. I'll find myself wondering how it's only 9 a.m. and I have washed 2 loads of laundry, made breakfast, dressed kids, and done dishes, but yet feel as if I'm watching the grass grow as we figure out how to make it two more hours until nap time. My oldest turned three this past weekend. I still can't believe it. I swear he just turned two a couple of months ago, right before his baby sister was born. The 11 months that followed were a complete blur that flashed by in the blink of an eye.
Minus the sleep deprivation, this past year has gone by so fast because my now three-year-old seems to be learning or achieving something new every single day. He's learned to say "Excuse me" in crowds when he wants to get by, knows his ABC's, and is reciting a new song on a weekly basis. He even mastered some neat soccer trick his dad taught him. The toddler years aren't ones I was really prepared for if I'm being honest. During my first year as a mom, I was so excited for them. I couldn't wait for the walking and talking my baby would soon be doing. I knew that basics of what to expect and even studied childhood development in college -- HA if only there was a college course that could prepare us for motherhood. No book, blog, or class could really prepare me for the extreme proudness, heart-melting, or tear-jerking frustrations that accompany the toddler years. It is a time that requires learning to reason with the unreasonable, turn literally everything into a negotiation or game, and mind-reading, just to name a few. It is also a time to hear the most amazing sentences like "I love you so much," "Sissy is my best friend," or "Pizza is my favorite." It's making memories and starting traditions. It's seeing the world through the eyes of a person who is a little over three-feet tall and realizing how much we're just "used to." It's learning to be amazed at the plow and get excited every time the "shovel truck" comes down the road in winter. In three short years, the tiny baby that could fit on my forearm is running around, kicking soccer balls, and speaking full sentences. He asks so, so many questions and is constantly curious and learning. He sees the world full of wonder and pushes me to be a better person, a more patient person, a more forgiving person every single day. So here's to three! I can't wait to see what this age holds for my little man! Real talk
I’m hiding from my kids. YUP. Number of dishes I’ve washed today: a big fat zero Number of cake pops I’ve eaten: 2 I cleaned poop out of the bath tub. The kids have started that whole sibling rivalry, egging each other on constantly stage, and man am I in for it. Did I mention the poop in the bath tub? I have a bucket of toys and a tub to bleach today. It’s okay, I’m already wearing a bleach stained shirt. 👏🏼🙃 Guys, it’s madness over here. But I think they might actually be getting along, they’re building a tower together, so that will last approximately 30 seconds. Did you know that sitting on the kitchen floor is a great way to find all those spots that the vacuum didn’t reach? 🤦🏽♀️ Okay so I’m rambling. I haven’t talked to another adult in TOO LONG. But this is the real deal, the nitty gritty of this gig. Motherhood is hard. It's draining more so mentally than physically which often leaves me questioning just why am I so tired? It's not like I ran a marathon or had some rigorous exercise. I think that would actually leave me with more energy than I have at 5 P.M. on any given weekday with my kids. The fighting, snack fetching, and refereeing can get to a girl. Answering the same questions I don't even know how many times has me beat more often than not. Sometimes a "Mommy time-out" is ok. Sometimes, it's necessary. The kids will be OK. They will play together. Mine are currently playing dinosaurs and blocks while watching The Masked Singer, their new favorite because of all the music. (I guess regular music just isn't as cool since it's not being sung in fun costumes. Whatever works, right?) I know that getting to spend these years at home is a gift. I really do, I promise. But sometimes it's just unbearably challenging and frustrating. It's draining and taxing. It leaves me beat and begging for a few minutes alone. I would take a real grown up coffee break any day. The baby is currently crawling around with one sock. Two is too much to ask of her right now. Maybe it slows her down. The boy has made a fort under my kitchen table. Duty calls. Mom out. Valentine's day is upon us shortly. We've talked about it briefly, and by briefly I mean I asked my husband if we had any plans besides the usual heart shaped pizza we've done since my son got teeth. We didn't. Then a few days later, a solid week before Valentine's day, he showed up with flowers. He got a sitter and said, "we're going out." So no, romance doesn't die when you get married or have kids. But it does look different more often than not. We do date night a week early or late or have alone time after the little ones are in bed. We make Valentine's crafts and read "Llama Llama Valentine" before bed. Romance and love might look a little different these days because it's not just us anymore. There are two tiny humans sitting at that table, snuggled on the couch, or even shopping for those flowers. The romantic gesture doesn't matter, but the fact that there was a romantic gesture, THAT matters. I want our kids to know that Mom and Dad loved each other. It's our job as parents and spouses to show them how a healthy, loving marriage should be. We're not perfect. We fumble a lot, but we show up. We figure it out. We talk it out. We do the little stuff, not as often as we should or have, but when we can. We do the hugs and the "I love you's". "How was your day" really goes a long way, especially when it's accompanied by someone genuinely listening and wanting to know. |
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Megan is a stay-at-home mom to a stubborn and charming toddler and adorable baby girl. She is a freelance writer who hasn't slept in way too long.. She survives off of the pot of coffee her wonderful husband makes her FRESH each morning and any snack she can grab while keeping up with her little ones. Archives
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