I'm kind of a control freak and as much as it terrifies me to admit, there are some things that are completely out of my control. As a mom, I struggle even more admitting that there are things I don't have control over. Has anyone gotten a baby to perfectly follow a schedule? They eat what you want, when you want and sleep when you want, don't pee on you or puke all over EVERYTHING? Probably not. I'm lucky if M doesn't throw a temper tantrum because he can't finger paint with his meal or feed the dog under the table.
Life can be inconvenient and unpredictable. One thing I'm learning to accept is that there are some things beyond my control. It is a work in progress by all means but it's a start. Being a mom is also terrifying. We worry constantly. They weren't kidding. How can we not though? We live in a world with car accidents, school shootings, Ebola, cancer, and a million other tragedies. It can be scary taking our babies to the grocery store because there are germs, perverts, and crazies. I totally get it. I have a bubble and I freak out when I have to take M out of if. Leaving that radius means there is even less am I in control of. It's scary. I panic sometimes or get knots in my stomach. I know it's normal, but I also know it's not. I can't live my life like that, and no one should. We have to live our lives and that includes facing our fears. For me, it's a control thing. There are too many variables that I just simply can't control. It freaks me out. I can't protect M from everything. That's something that is hard for me to accept but I had to rather quickly because when M was 2 days old we were separated for several hours while he was transported to a different hospital because I had to be released from post-op myself. My answer is that I put my faith in God. It helps me manage. It gives me comfort knowing he's looking over us. He gave me this baby for a reason, and he has some crazy plan for us and our family. He will protect us. Now I don't use this as an excuse to run red lights or go cliff diving. I do rely on it though for time to time when I just need some reassurance that everything is going to be alright. There's something very calming about putting my faith into something bigger than myself.
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Megan is a stay-at-home mom to a stubborn and charming toddler and adorable baby girl. She is a freelance writer who hasn't slept in way too long.. She survives off of the pot of coffee her wonderful husband makes her FRESH each morning and any snack she can grab while keeping up with her little ones. Archives
October 2019
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